Ecumenical Mysticism

&amp;amp;quot;A God-Fearing People&amp;amp;quot;

Today, I came across the phrase “a god-fearing people”, and it struck a chord, almost as if I were hearing it for the first time. I should clarify that it struck a dissonant chord. It felt immediately “off”. Wrong, or at least problematic. So I began to ponder the phrase and my intuitive rejection of it.

I think it comes down to this: When you turn your attention toward god, the infinite, the eternal, or whatever symbol you utilize when you consider ultimate truth, do you consistently experience one emotion more than others? I do: Mine is a sort of benevolence mixed with awe and a feeling of gratitude or appreciation. “Love” feels pretty similar, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s what I mean; maybe I feel love when I focus on the infinite.

But guess what? “Fear” doesn’t even come close to the feeling I experience. I’m going to make an assertion here that some readers may find inflammatory. I apologize if my conclusion offends you, but not if it challenges you; that’s the point. So here it is:

If the most prominent feeling you experience when you ponder god is fear, you’re doing something wrong.

Somehow, you’ve been misled, or you’ve misinterpreted what you were taught. You may be resisting god, either by choice or because you just didn’t realize there was another way you could integrate god into your experience.

It doesn’t really matter how you got where you are, but if you feel it’s time to move your relationship with the divine beyond fear, I think I can help. First, let me explain two steps that you will need to take. I’m generalizing and simplifying, and every person’s path to god is a unique experience. I’m just suggesting that most people who want to integrate universal truth into their experience will probably experience something corresponding to these two steps. See for yourself if they sound productive to you.

First, accept your fear. No matter what you’re experiencing, the first step in transcending it is to accept it without judgment. Say it out loud: “I fear god.” Forgive yourself for fearing god. Forgive god for being the object of your fear. Seriously, it’s completely OK that this is how you’ve lived your life so far. Maybe you can experience a deeper relationship with god if you let go of the fear, but first you’ve got to consent to reality as you’ve experienced and understood it thus far.

Second, even while you accept your fear, try to let go of your resistance to god. You’re an ice cube in the ocean of god’s compassion: Stop trying not to melt! Melt into god. Acquiesce to your path, your situation, your destiny. Let god’s will manifest itself through you, knowing that it’s correct and could not be otherwise. You may dislike aspects of your life situation, but accept that everything, even your pain, has unfolded precisely as it was meant to. It all fits, and it’s all necessary. Don’t resist anymore; let go of your fear and your need to control and your need to be right. Surrender to god. God loves you, god has a plan for you, and it’s all going to be fine.

If this just seems hopeless, or it’s too hard, or you want to do it but you just can’t get the process going in a way that feels profound and authentic to you, it may be time to embrace your death.

I’m being glib, but I’m absolutely serious. You will die, and you know this. You probably fear your death, or you just avoid thinking about it at all. You will die. Maybe today, maybe in thirty years, maybe a century from now. But it’s coming. So never mind your fear of god for the moment; it’s time to transcend your fear of death.

Oh, me? Have I done this? Actually, I think I have, to my surprise. I fear pain. I fear injury and illness. I fear being helpless. But I accept these fears; I figure my mind creates these fears to help me avoid threats and dangerous situations. These fears don’t feel dysfunctional. Fearing death itself, the one destiny we all share, feels dysfunctional. I accept death. I accept that I will die, that all my beloved friends and family members will eventually die. It’s OK.

Some mornings, I wake up, get my day started, and then during some quiet moment I ask myself this question: “If this is the last day of my life, is that OK?” I ponder this a moment, let it sink in, and then I answer: “Yes. It will have been enough. It will be OK.” And I feel GREAT! Ready for the day, whatever it has in store for me. How do I know it will be OK? I seem to intuit that it will be OK. This is the point where I seem to experience something like “faith”. I just know it will be fine. I’m not sure I can explain it, but that’s how it is.

That doesn’t mean I won’t act to protect myself or prolong my life. I don’t WANT to die. I’m just saying that if I die tomorrow, today, in twenty minutes, I know it’s going to be OK. It doesn’t mean that I have no plans or dreams or goals, and I’m not saying I think I’ve accomplished everything I can with this life. It just means that if I depart without completing everything, I accept that this will have been necessary and appropriate. I don’t know what god’s plan for me is, but I consent to it anyway.

If you can accept this one certain inevitability; your own death; it becomes a lot easier to accept the many events in our lives that we experience as tragedies, setbacks, and failures. Again, it doesn’t mean you ENJOY them; it just means that you accept the reality of whatever your situation happens to be. The moment you give up resisting, needing to be right, indulging in “this shouldn’t be happening!” thoughts, you free yourself to engage with the world, with god, in a more positive way. If you can free yourself from your fear of death, you may find that you can deal with the challenges you face in your life a lot more proactively. You may even find that your fear of god has left the building while you weren’t watching.

I know, I make it sound so simple. But the funny thing is, it IS simple. It is simple, and yet it’s the most difficult transition I’ve ever undertaken. I was very much stuck in being right, for years and years, and then something happened that kicked the legs out from under my worldview. Otherwise, I don’t think I would ever have gotten to this point.

It’s easy to transcend your fear of death, but it requires a willingness to reassess your assumptions at a very basic, fundamental level. An ability to “step outside” your mind for a moment and view your life from on high; to view your life as if you were an observer possessing infinite compassion, patience, and love. You know…as if you were god. And then do it again the next day. Oh, and forgive yourself for falling back into your old habits from time to time; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 30th, 2006 at 6:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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&amp;amp;amp;quot;A God-Fearing People&amp;amp;amp;quot;

&amp;quot;A God-Fearing People&amp;quot;